New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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