this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
