I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
