hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
