The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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