She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize