I wish i was in the wii world.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
