I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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