i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize