I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize