I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
and you fell through a lawn chair
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
