..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
