I got chris browned last night
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
