I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
