i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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