I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
