does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
