if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
