you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
