I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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