your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
