thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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