BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
i think i just lost a toe
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
