so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
