if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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