idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
