Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
