she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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