Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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