I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
