So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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