you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
