If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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