I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
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