Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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