All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
