Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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