ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Randomize
