Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
