How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
