Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
