Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
