if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
