So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
