Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
zippers are such a cool invention
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
