I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
