Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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