it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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