woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Even my vagina gasped.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
