Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
