I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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