Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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