...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
