well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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