just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
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