'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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