Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
