Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
