How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
