I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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